On average I would tell both my wife and my daughter that I love them around 3 or 4 times a day.

Someone commented on it the other day to me, giving my a little tease because I told her that I loved her as we were finishing up a conversation on the phone.

I began to consider why I do it so often. It isn’t a habit, nor has it become part of ending a conversation, but rather each time it is an intentional action. The only reference I can bring it back to is the early days of our relationship when I heard the song ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’ sung by Garth Brooks.

Like it, or love it - it makes no difference. It’s the words that had an impact on me. The song is basically about losing a loved one, and questioning whether or not they knew you loved them.

I consider everyday that is something happened to me, and my tomorrow didn’t come, would my wife and daughter know how much I loved them.

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Before children are old enough for school, it seems the Santa photo is the most important photo of the year. Now that I have my photo to show and brag with, the hottest topic of discussion has been how parents have managed to get the child to sit quietly and smile for the camera.

(On a side note, why do we try so hard to get a photo with Santa when so many children are scared of him? Then we spend the rest of the year telling our kids not to talk to strangers and especially not accept lollies from them. Oh but Santa is ok…)

I have distilled all the information in to 2 techniques for any parents struggling this year.

1. Bribery

This seems to be the most common technique. If the gift Santa provides is not enough, use a ‘post photo’ option. Generally a sugar enriched treat does the trick.

2. Threatening

This is particular useful if the child or an older sibling has reached the ‘age of understanding’ regarding Santa. If this is the case you can use the threat of withdrawal of Christmas presents or just privileges in general. If the child is younger than the age old statement of “Santa won’t come this year” appears to work very successfully.

Hope this brings you success and less stress.

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Trust is defined as having confidence or faith in something. I am convinced that humans are born with trust in its purest sense ingrained into us. It is only the bad experiences of our lives that cause us to be so untrusting as we get older.

As you are aware, my daughter is now standing up and walking by holding onto furniture. Most mornings when we walk in to her room she is already standing and holding on to the side of her cot waiting for us.

It really struck me how when I approach the cot she would take her hands off the edge and put them into the air for me to pick her up. She certainly hasn’t mastered standing without support yet, and if I didn’t pick her up she would fall straight backwards.

There is just a massive sense of trust, but not only that, she has a certainty that I will reach out and lift her up.

I love the innocent and purity that she has; there’s is no tainting or polluting of important traits like trust.

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There is an old saying that ‘memories are forever’. I can buy my daughter a toy which may last only a short period of time, but the memory of seeing her face as she opened the present is the thing that lasts the longest.

Memories really are forever. Unfortunately our brains aren’t.

That is the primary reason why this blog exists. My wife keeps a written journal of her thoughts and memories, but I can not stand using pen and paper. My life is based upon the principle of ’say no to analogue, give me digital any day’.

One day my wife will present our daughter with a tattered book of memories and pasted in photos. I will give her a bound book of typed entries and printed photos, or maybe even present it on a digital medium. Both are equally as special and important.

It doesn’t matter how you choose to do it, but don’t rely upon your brain to recall all the memories and highlights of your children’s upbringing. Write them down, record them type them, whatever it takes to ensure those memories truly do last forever.

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In the next couple of weeks a podcast is being launched attached to this blog which I am very excited about The WheresTheInstructions.COM PodCast will each fortnight interview a different father asking the same 5 questions on fatherhood to each one.

We will discuss topics from lessons we have learnt, embarrassing moments and views on being a father.

I will let you all know the details once it launches. If you are interested in being on an episode, make sure you send me an email.

Last Saturday it was decided that it would be the day of the first ever Santa photo. So armed and ready to engage the Christmas shopping crowd, we headed out with many orders and commands from the higher-ranking grandparents. I am glad to report, mission successful.

Parking - $5, soft drink while standing in line for over an hour - $2.80. New hairpin to replace the lost one moments before the photo - $3.50. Being able to gloat about my smiling daughter in the photo that didn’t cry at the scary man in red - PRICELESS.

Yes that is correct, against all odds and opinions of people around us, there were no tears, only big smiles for the camera. Traditionally Santa photos either contain a crying face or a parent sitting next to Santa forcing the child to stay in place.

I also got to meet the best ever Santa I have come across. Genuine long bushy beard, built like a true Santa and looks exactly like your typical Santa illustration.

Being the ‘grown up’ I spoke to Santa out of character, thanking him for doing this, giving up his time and all those kind of nice words. He responded in character telling me to make sure I have my wish list to him in time. No matter how hard I tried he refused to be the ‘generous retired man’ and stayed as the one and only true Santa.

I am sure a lot of people share my sentiments for this time of year. Hate may be too strong a word, possibly dislike? Perhaps the best way to explain that statement is to use the phrase “I hate what Christmas has become”.
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My father and mother moved into a brand new house just over a year ago, and have been slowly landscaping the yard and adding the finishing touches to the house. Of course now that I have not lived at home for quite a few years, they decided to put a pool in. It was an obvious attempt at bribery to ensure the kids and grandkids visited regularly, and it worked.

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I have grown up with a strong value of truth and honesty, that my word is my bond and a promise or commitment should never be broken and not made in the first place if I cannot keep it. With that ingrained so deep into me, I am struggling with fulfilling the upkeep of the world’s greatest lie.
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Whenever an action is undertaken, or a process is put into place, there is always a measure that is used to gauge the success of it. In business you may look out how many products were sold over a 3 month period, or the amount of new clients, maybe even just the basic amount of sales per week. But what is the gauge of success for a father, and what is the time period it is measured over?

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